Saturday, March 04, 2006

Saturday night

People are supposedly out in Malate, Greenbelt, a party or somewhere fancy and supposedly "fun". For someone like me who still lives in his parents' house and waiting for grace, Saturday night is usually spent in front of the computer or watching TV.

I was expecting a call from Xavier scheduling me for the demo teaching since yesterday. Anyway, as of the moment I am just trying to come out with an effective lesson plan.

*sigh*, People have really grown out of the usual mold of the teenage years and of the college life syndrome. I hope there are people like me out there experiencing the same situation, not that I want everybody to have my life, it's just so that I can at least talk to someone with what I am going through. It's quite tough having nobody to share your thoughts with. Everybody seems busy or that they don't have time to spend with you. I can't blame my friends for not being in touch with me since I started ignoring their messages and not spending time with them. I decided to spend my time alone with my family trying to sort things out, in the process I have been cutting myself from everybody else. I don't want this. But I must accept the situation because as reason would suggest it is by my fault things have come to this. I hope one of these days I can feel that I really belong somewhere and that I am enjoying myself and not being a nuisance to everyone.

Isn't that people just want to love and to be loved in return. To be accepted fully as a person. I hope everybody else is happy, giving love and to be loved back. Because from where I am right now, I don't want anybody else feeling like this, as if I was being punished by being alive and alone. (Okay, I am not talking about my relationship with my family. I am talking about my relationship with other people.)

I hope that there will come a time for me to write something fun in this blog of mine, rather than having to use this just to express my melancholic existence.


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